bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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