So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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