I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
