I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
