i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
