She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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