ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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