So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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