Will you blow on my dice?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
