We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
