I cannot find my penis.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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