You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize