i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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