We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
