Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
