I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
