Me. At least after what I've been through.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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