naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
