summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
