I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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