Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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