Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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