I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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