i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
