bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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