What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
