Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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