Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
