butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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