i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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