Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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