So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
