Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
