in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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