Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
