A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
