Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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