clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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