i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
soo... how was my night?
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