it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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