You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
