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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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