Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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