More tranny stories later!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
