I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
