my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We're too hungover to prance.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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