toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
