when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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