The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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