and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
