Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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