i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.