At least make sure they are 18
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there