Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha

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  (702): I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha http://tfl.nu/eax7
  Replies (51) Good night (2413) Bad night (1149)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

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  (480): So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction. http://tfl.nu/bt6f
  Replies (54) Good night (808) Bad night (4365)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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  (614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh
  Replies (23) Good night (8166) Bad night (1379)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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  (919): I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight. http://tfl.nu/fd4p
  Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (2121)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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  (425): WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?! http://tfl.nu/ccm6
  Replies (7) Good night (2696) Bad night (1184)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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  (940): This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying. http://tfl.nu/0zt5
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (1029)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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  (920): Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/df8w
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (1535)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

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  (360): I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite http://tfl.nu/ql58
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (469)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

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  (914): Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket. http://tfl.nu/amsn
  Replies (4) Good night (1975) Bad night (381)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

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  (713): Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words" http://tfl.nu/ql9t
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (467)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.

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  (423): God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too. http://tfl.nu/jo5q
  Replies (10) Good night (1981) Bad night (414)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth

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  (802): She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth http://tfl.nu/i0xq
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (430)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

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  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio

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  (724): quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio http://tfl.nu/4v4l
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (158)

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