We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground