Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
