Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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