FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
