About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
