I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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