So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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