I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
