cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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