when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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