I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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