just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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