Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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