You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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