I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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