I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Girls should come with a carfax report
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize