We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
