hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
