he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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