and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
